The Unexpected Challenges for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents who step in to raise their grandchildren face a unique and complex set of challenges, often with little preparation or support. Here are some of the most common ones, grouped by category:

Grandparent walking with grandchild

🧠 Emotional and Mental Health Challenges

  • Grief and Loss: Many grandparents take custody after trauma — such as a parent’s death, addiction, or incarceration. They’re often grieving while trying to provide stability.
  • Isolation: Friends their own age may not relate, and traditional parenting spaces may not feel welcoming.
  • Stress and Anxiety: Balancing a second round of parenting, often unexpectedly, can lead to burnout and even depression.

💵 Financial Strain

  • Limited Income: Most grandparents are on fixed incomes (retirement, Social Security), not designed to support children.
  • Unplanned Expenses: Costs like school supplies, healthcare, and clothing can overwhelm tight budgets.
  • Lack of Access to Benefits: Without legal guardianship, accessing support like child tax credits or TANF can be difficult.

⚖️ Legal and Custody Complications

  • Lack of Legal Custody: This can block access to healthcare, school enrollment, or even the right to make decisions for the child.
  • Navigating Court Systems: The legal process can be expensive and emotionally draining.
  • Complex Family Dynamics: Maintaining boundaries and relationships with the child’s parents can be emotionally taxing.

Personal Example: My aunts daughter passed in her 20's from diabities, she had a son who was only 3 yrs. He was put in foster care and my aunt (the grandmother) could not get custody of her grandchild.

After going through many hoops, she finally got custody of him, 6 months and several thousand dollars later.

Each state or country will have different laws involving these matters. You would be best to check with a lawyer. In most countries, I do believe that having a Will allows a parent to name the future guardian if needed. 

Grandparents on couch watching grandkids play

📚 Educational and Parenting Hurdles

  • Outdated Knowledge: Teaching methods, technology, and discipline styles may have changed drastically since they last parented.
  • School Involvement: They may struggle to advocate in school settings that assume a traditional nuclear family.
  • Raising Teens: Teens especially can struggle with authority changes, trauma, or embarrassment around nontraditional guardianship.

🏥 Health and Energy Limits

  • Chronic Conditions: Many grandparents have health issues that make parenting physically difficult.
  • Fatigue: Keeping up with young kids or teens can be exhausting at any age — more so in one’s 60s or 70s.

🛑 Lack of Support or Recognition

  • Stigma or Shame: They may feel judged — either for stepping in or for how the situation unfolded.
  • Few Role Models: Unlike younger parents, there aren’t always visible support networks or relatable content for grandparents in this role.