Every parent has their own way of guiding, teaching, and caring for their children. You may choose to raise your child the way you were raised, or according to your values and beliefs.
However, researchers have discovered that the four main styles of parenting “authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved” are used most often by parents.
Knowing your style—and seeing how it plays out in everyday situations—can help you parent with more intention. Let’s walk through how the following examples of parenting styles might look in real life.
Don’t have time to read the full article right now. See examples of parenting styles side-by-side in this quick reference table at the bottom of the page.
Overview:
Authoritative parents set clear rules and expectations, but they also listen to their child’s thoughts and feelings. They explain the “why” behind their decisions and encourage independence while providing plenty of support.
Example #1 – Homework Struggles:
Your child complains about having too much homework.
Example #2 – Bedtime Rules:
Your child asks to stay up later on a school night.
Why It Works:
Children raised with authoritative parenting tend to be confident, respectful, and good at problem-solving because they’ve learned structure and empathy together.
Overview:
Authoritarian parents set high expectations and have firm rules—often with little room for discussion. Obedience is valued above flexibility, and the parent makes most decisions without input from the child.
Example #1– Homework Struggles:
Your child says they don’t want to do their homework.
What You Might Do:
You tell them, “Homework must be done before dinner. No excuses.” You expect them to follow through without further discussion, and consequences are given if they don’t comply.
Example #2– Bedtime Rules:
Your child asks to stay up later.
What You Might Do:
You say, “No, bedtime is 8:30, and that’s final.” The rule is enforced without negotiation, regardless of circumstances.
Why It Works (and When It Doesn’t):
This style can lead to well-behaved kids who respect rules, but it may also cause them to struggle with decision-making or self-expression. Some children may follow the rules out of fear rather than understanding.
Overview:
Permissive parents are loving and accepting but often avoid setting firm boundaries. They might allow children a lot of freedom, sometimes to the point where rules are unclear or inconsistently enforced.
Example #1– Homework Struggles:
Your child says they don’t feel like doing homework tonight.
What You Might Do:
You respond, “Okay, just do it later if you can.” If they don’t get to it, you might shrug it off, hoping the teacher will understand.
Example #2– Bedtime Rules:
Your child wants to stay up late to watch a movie.
What You Might Do:
You say, “Sure, but try to get some rest after.” You prioritize their immediate happiness over the long-term schedule.
Why It Works (and When It Doesn’t):
Permissive parenting can help children feel loved and accepted, but without enough structure, they may struggle with self-control, following rules, or meeting responsibilities.
Overview:
Uninvolved parents provide for basic needs but may be emotionally distant or disengaged from their child’s daily life. This style can happen unintentionally due to stress, lack of knowledge, or other life pressures.
Example #1– Homework Struggles:
Your child hasn’t done their homework in days.
What You Might Do:
You don’t ask about it or check in. You assume it’s their responsibility to manage, and you’re not aware of their grades until report cards come home.
Example #2– Bedtime Rules:
Your child stays up late most nights playing games.
What You Might Do:
You don’t enforce a bedtime or even know when they go to sleep. You’re focused on your own activities.
Why It Works (and When It Doesn’t):
This style offers the most independence, but children often feel unsupported. Without guidance, they may struggle with school, friendships, and self-esteem.
Many parents don’t fit neatly into one category. It’s possible that you are authoritative most of the time, however, if tired you may slip into permissive territory or when stressed authoritarian may feel like an easy way out.
The important thing is to notice patterns and aim for balance. Here’s how these styles might show up in other everyday situations:
According to research authoritative parenting has the most positive outcomes for children. It offers warmth, structure and respect, helping kids to develop self-discipline, confidence and empathy.
That said, every family is different. Culture, values, and personal circumstances all shape the way we parent. What matters most is being aware of your approach and adjusting when something isn’t working.
If you notice your parenting leans heavily toward authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved, here are ways to shift toward a more balanced, authoritative style:
Parenting is about being there for your kids. It’s about learning as you go and making choices that help your child grow into a capable, kind, and confident person.
By understanding and seeing real-life examples of parenting styles—you can reflect on your own habits and make small changes where needed. Every step towards balance makes a difference in your child’s life, whether you set clear boundaries, listen to them or offer consistent support.
At the end of the day, the goal isn’t just to raise a child who follows the rules—it’s to raise a child who feels loved, respected, and ready to face the world.
Parenting Style | Overview | Homework Example | Bedtime Example | Possible Outcome |
---|---|---|---|---|
Authoritative | Warm, supportive, clear rules, encourages independence | Sits with child to plan homework, listens to concerns, offers help while holding them accountable | Explains why bedtime matters, allows 15 min extra reading | Children are confident, responsible, respectful, and good at problem-solving |
Authoritarian | Strict, high expectations, low flexibility | Demands homework be done before dinner with no discussion” | Says “Bedtime is 8:30, that’s final” | Children may be obedient but less confident, struggle with decision-making, and rely on authority for guidance |
Permissive | Warm and accepting but few boundaries or rules. | Says “Do it later if you can,” no follow-up if it’s missed | Allows them to stay up late to watch a movie | Children may feel loved but struggle with self-control, boundaries, and responsibility |
Uninvolved | Low demands, little involvement or guidance | Doesn’t ask about homework or check progress | No set bedtime or awareness of sleep schedule | Children may feel unsupported, have lower self-esteem, and struggle in school and relationships |